I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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