all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My vagina is officially offended.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
