Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
