Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
