belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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