He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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