I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
