we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
