I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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