You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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