So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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