the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
