today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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