We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
