i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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