It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
