Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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