I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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