What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
