she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize