we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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