theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
