man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
