Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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