Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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