Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
