oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
