I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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