so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she looked like the before picture.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
