Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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