you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
