can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
