i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
