Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
