like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
