At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
