Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
