Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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