I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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