I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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