Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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