Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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