i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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