my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
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Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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