I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
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and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
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Is this like a preordered booty call?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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