Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
