I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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