I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ladies don't puke and tell
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
