She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
