I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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