I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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