EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so let's talk penis.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
