GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize