I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
