i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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