After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
