I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
there is puke in my bra ... again
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