i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish there were birth control emojis
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
