is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
