You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
