My hand turned me down
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize