I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Randomize
